THE OFFICE:
ryan’s an asshole with a half-beard.

“yeah, i have a lot of questions. number one: how dare you?”

*sarcastic slow clap*

oh man, ryan is drunk!

dwight = this guy!

OH MY GOD, ryan isn’t drunk, he’s on cocaine!

jim and pam are not doing too well tonight. they got locked in the parking lot and out of the office, and pam just chucked a football at meredith’s face.

toby, get your effing hand of of jim’s girl!

OMG toby’s moving to costa rica! OMG toby’s running away from everyone! OMG toby is jumping the fence!

i almost feel bad for ryan and his drug problem. he wants help, he does.

 
30 ROCK:
jack got the job! hooray! yay! who will be his successor?

“why is leaving your children a legacy so hard!? it’s been a half an hour!”

tracey: i’m mozart, and you’re that guy that was always jealous of mozart.
frank: salleiri?
tracey: no thank you, i already ate.

liz, going corporate? WHA?!

LACRIMOSA! i have that mozart album! </lame>

“guess who has two thumbs, knows limited french, and hasn’t cried today? this moi.”

BLERG! liz killed don geiss!

why does dr. spaceman have a cape on?!?! who am i kidding, i love it!

“is it 411 or 911? hmm. *dials* new york. oh, i don’t know—diabetes repair?”